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Longshanks

“Want to take a break after this wave!” Longshanks roars as he hooks a scaling ladder off the rampart.

“What time is it!” Pellegrin jerks his face away from a hot spray of goblin blood.

“Almost end of shift!”

“Sure!”

The water cooler is next to the pitch cauldrons. Longshanks always thought that was dumb.

“We need a better siege process,” he sighs. “Our quartermaster’s not ISO-certified. What if we get audited?”

Pellegrin snorts. “They can’t sieze our assets if we eat them all.”

“Exactly!” says Longshanks. “No starvation plan! Are we supposed to eat the children first, or what?”