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Diana

“Am I the only one you love?” Diana asks him once.

“Hardly,” he says. “I mean, aside from my grandma and all that, I’m still pretty much hung up on Jane Delleon from middle school. And her friend Ruthie Ponce. Oh, and I’d sell them all to pirates for that girl from Mythbusters.

“I wish you wouldn’t say those things.”

“Then let me out of the goddamn lasso!”

Eventually she throws all his stuff out of the house; newspapers will report its landing in Phoenix. Stomping away for the last time, he almost gives himself a concussion on her stupid jet.

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