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Derek

The problem is that as media icons of beauty become more cartoonish in all respects, round blue eyes bulging, legs shiny as acetate, cartoons are in the uncanny valley and climbing up the other side: it’s happening much faster than the hindbrain adapts. Derek can’t help what he’s attracted to. There are whole political parties founded on that fact.

All those Japanese pedophile tentacles miss the point: what Derek wants is a girl next door, those chaste icons of cheap yesteryear. Judy Jetson. A Daphne-Velma sandwich. And oh, how hard Betty’s giggle gets him; that and her perfect, erotic hydrocephaly.

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