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Sydney

Sydney gets new eyes in an operation but it turns out they’re Mexican ghost eyes.

“Oh crap!” says Sydney. “Now my eyes are haunted!”

“My hand was haunted!” says this guy who is definitely not named what you think he is named. “That’s why I chopped it off.”

“‘If thine eye offendeth thee, pluck it out,'” quotes Sydney thoughtfully. “I wonder how modern movies and ancient literature, perhaps even the phenomenon of martyrdom, relate to our latent fears of the neurophysiological imbalance that underlies body integrity identity disorder (BIID)?”

“Then I put a chainsaw on the stump!” says the other guy.

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