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Category Archives: Kaijuville

Kaijuville

Garmegula roars and stomps around the industrial park, leaving twenty-foot prints in the concrete, which makes it difficult for Jebediah to finish his PowerPoint.

“The red line, of course, tracks gross revenue over six months, and the blue area would cover expenditures.”

“KREEE,” Garmegula bellows.

“Now, that’s not a great-looking graph!” says Jebediah, who was up until 3 am trying to make it look less terrible.

“GREEAGGH,” says Garmegula.

“But th-things look good to roll out the second wave of action figures in December, and the interactive DVD is–”

“WE ARE WAY BELOW PROJECTIONS FOR Q3,” says Garmegula.

Kaijuville

“Next on the agenda,” says Iolaus, “the proposed ballot measure to implement quotas on non-kaiju residents in federal housing.”

A throat clears like a collapsing building.

“I know there’s some opposition–”

The throat clears again; people take cover.

“But we have to consider placing one kaiju versus twenty-five families in a given unit and YES Vulfhor what IS it,” says Iolaus.

“I just want to avoid any hint of reverse discrimination,” sniffs the eighty-foot-tall purple lycanthrope.

“You smashed six housing projects last week!”

Vulfhor shakes his head sadly. “And here I thought we were past all that.”

Kaijuville

Murdron and Garmegula have been battling so much lately that people are starting to talk.

“Do you even remember the last time Murdron threw down with Welbaro?” says Gerania, eyebrows high.

“No…”

“February! I checked!”

“You really think something’s going on?” says Hebron, as they duck and cover from a blast of napalm breath.

“I don’t know how they expect to stay off TMZ.”

Garmegula and Murdron are engaged in a long, staggering clinch; Garmegula’s dorsal blades shred the bank tower. There’s a lot of subsonic grunting.

Watching from the volcano a mile away, Akikai weeps. It’s probably just the fumes.

Kaijuville

Mechnozoid’s copy of Apache is configured all weird and it would probably be hard to upgrade to 2.2.11 even if it weren’t actively battling Murdron at the moment. Edderly wishes like hell he could just figure out which kaiju kernel it’s running.

“Try apt-getting again,” he yells across the machine-crowded command deck to Felix.

“I don’t think that works if the hosts file is EAAAGH,” says Felix, as Murdron’s energy sword peels through titanium armor to obliterate his torso.

Hi, Edderly types into a new forum post, I don’t know if any of you have encountered this problem before.

Kaijuville

The Ufonian craft hums right into the base, stops and hovers, and dumps its latest load of abductees down a beam of light into the hopper on Mechnozoid’s head. As it fills with hapless fleshlings, its eyes begin to glow; before long it’s grinding its way out of the cavern to shoot lasers at Garmegula. Again.

Delmar and Croesus are two of the first to finish tumbling through its works and wind up, greasy and shaken, on the ground behind it.

“Was that Mechnozoid?” says Delmar, ginger with bruises. “I hate being used to power Mechnozoid!”

“It’s a job,” shrugs Croesus.

Kaijuville

“Putting legal limits on kaiju rampages?” Bernhardt is aghast. “That’s tantamount to nationalization!”

“It’s a natural role for the Kaijuville Council,” says Aguilar.

“Every citizen has a God-given right to stumble into an unguarded nuclear facility, bathe his body in strange energies and grow into a hundred-foot-tall mutant,” says Bernard firmly. “To say otherwise is, is–”

Before he can pick an unfashionable ethos, Murdron and Garmegula accidentally stomp the council building to pieces, and Garmegula sets the ruins aflame.

Later, Vulfhor stops by and, a bit shamefacedly, picks out and eats the corpses.

It’s tough all over in Kaijuville.

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