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Bucket

Bucket peels off the wrapper and stares, because there it is: an impossible little gold rectangle, the telephone that will soon ring with a phone call from the Wozka himself.

“You gonna do it?” says the neighbor kid, awed. “You gonna go inside that crazy magic building and learn all his secrets?”

“Hell no, my family’s broke and this is our ticket out!” says Bucket. “I’m gonna sell it. I’m gonna sell it on eBay!”

They get an oversized McMansion and spend too much money on cars, but some of it goes into a trust for the kids, so that’s good.