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Mina sweeps past the forelock-tugging receptionist and into the dim office. “I want you to know that this isn’t film noir,” she says bluntly. “I am neither a waif nor a fatale and I will not fall for your tough exterior. I’m here because my best friend went missing from a locked room and the police have given up, and hiring a PI is my very last–”

He holds up a hand. She stops.

“I can solve your case,” purrs the detective. “In one hour and seventeen minutes I shall commence.”

“What happens then?” asks Mina.

“Sunset,” says Inspector Dracula.