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Inevitably, Horatio puts his balls up on his tactilog. He titles them “a soft puppy.” Nobody is fooled.

After a couple months he gets worried about his political career (you never know) and deletes them. Then he gets worried about Google and reposts under the same title, with a feelie that actually is of a soft puppy. He considers the Wayback but doesn’t really know how to fix that.

Finally, on his thirtieth birthday, he puts his balls back up. He’s embracing his mistakes! He’s living up and owning up. He’s not afraid to age.

He spends a while in jail.