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Clambake (1967): Elvis Presley as an oil heir who becomes a water-ski instructor.

“That cannot be a real movie,” says Rupert. “That’s a collection of random words!”

“This from you?” says Nikki. “The professional diver/nightclub singer who schemes to find pirate gold?”

“All of that makes perfect sense in context,” says Rupert. “Um, doesn’t it?”

Nikki shakes her head.

“Oh no,” says Rupert, in dawning horror. “No!” A guitar falls into his hands; attractive girls in retro bikinis wheel palm trees onto the set.

“Why?” sobs Rupert, hips already jerking.

“The King is dead,” coos Nikki. “Long live the King.”