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Bongo McTweedlepants

“This was your idea,” Davey reminds him.

“I was just going to get a wig, Davey, not ‘the most realistic chest hair money can buy,'” says Bongo. “It’s not even for my chest, it’s for an afro! Hey, that is spirit gum you’re putting on my head, right?”

“Yes,” says Davey, tossing aside the superglue. “Now try not to breathe while I shake the hairbag.”

He’s still shaking, two minutes later, when Bongo finally inhales. “ACK PTHAH MY MOUTH,” he says.

“Save the method acting for the audience,” says Davey. “This is going to be the greatest performance of your life.”