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Dittany’s title is Subminister of Electronic Diversion Policy, which means she gets paid to find new ways for the Glorious Leader to cheat at Halo. It’s hard. He’s terrible, so they can’t use timing tricks or button combos, and lately they just beat the hell out of the Live servers with a botnet until something cracks.

Caffeine is illegal here and the nights are killing her. Dittany pores over forums and tries to sneak in humane policies at the ministry council. She came here to teach English, but the only words the Glorious Leader wanted from her were “Jew noob fag.”