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Science Officer Riker

“And why didn’t you notice the ship was leaking antimatter for four hours?”

“Look, I had a hot holodate,” shrugs Science Officer Riker. “Things got out of hand. And also into hand. Because I got a holohandy.”

“Will, maybe if we tried reversing the polarity to–” says Engineering Chief Crusher.

“I tried reversing her polarity last night, if you know what I mean!” says Science Officer Riker. “What I mean is that we did it from behind.”

Around the table, the other officers stare at him hard enough to press latinum.

“I’m detecting tension somewhere in this vicinity,” frowns Captain Troi.