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Erik

Erik goes out for a haircut and some groceries. When he opens the box at home, the haircut leaps straight for his head.

“No, haircut!” says Erik. “Bad!”

The haircut grumbles and paws at the back door. Erik lets it run around in the yard a little while and shave some squirrels.

It’s at this point that Erik notices it: his reverse widow’s peak. Hanks come away in his hand and he panics, grabs the haircut, shoves it into the screaming garbage disposal.

“Jesus, Erik,” says Marivel, staring from the door.

“It’s okay!” says Erik, a bit shrilly. “It’ll grow back!”