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“–similar to a sugar pill including nausea blurred vision and increased desire to gamble see our ad on health dot com,” finishes Zyrexitab, panting slightly and beaming at the class’s haphazard applause.

“Very good!” says the teacher. “Okay, has anyone not gone yet? Mirazinol? Apostrophex? Wait–yes, our newest classmate! Is it… Reggie?”

“Uh,” says Reggie, who’s been dreading this. “I can’t recite my disclaimer.”

The teacher smiles. “Don’t be shy!”

“No, I mean… I’m named after my grandfather. I don’t have a pharma patron.”

The whole class stares, then, as if cued. Rich boy, mouths one of them, accusingly silent.


APOSTROPHEX tablets (diretascorsine) are indicated for the management of Protracted Indecision Disorder (see the APA Diagnostic and Statistical Manual [DSM-III-R]). APOSTROPHEX has a low occurrence of side effects, but you don’t really care, do you? They’re similar to a sugar pill. Forget about them. There. Felt good, huh? APOSTROPHEX can help you feel like that all the time. APOSTROPHEX takes over when you worry, when you’re scared, or when you just don’t know what to do. Try a free sample. Get a prescription. And if you run into any trouble, don’t ask your doctor about APOSTROPHEX. Ask APOSTROPHEX about your doctor.