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Brought to you by Ben Wray

“Okay, what about exceptions?”

“I need your exceptiona-” but then Kay’s rudely interrupted.

“Notimetoexplain!” Mario grabs her and spacetime rearranges itself in a flash of light. They’re just in time for the closing words.

“Omnia mutantur, nihil interit,” solmenly quotes Toe. “Death is but a door, time is but a window…”

“Is he quoting Ghostbusters 2 or 8-bit theater?” asks Jake, but Dylan kicks him, hard, and he shuts up.

Everybody’s there. Zach, Rob, Asuka’s doctor, Zaganza, Shelly, your favorite character not already mentioned… everybody.

Then Millicent’s paw thrusts triumphantly out of the ground suck it Brendan I win forever.


Asuka turns seven, and blue.

“It’s perfectly normal,” the doctor soothes at her mom. “She started first grade recently, yes? The bright color tells school predators she’s poisonous.”

“My friend Jeremy has giant scary eyes!” says Asuka.

“No, no,” chuckles the doctor, “eye spots.

Later, no longer afraid, Asuka kills Jeremy with a rock and eats his viscera. The angry mob shows up at the doctor’s house pretty quickly.

“I only gave her knowledge!” he roars.

“WHAT HATH SCIENCE WROUGHT,” chants the mob.

“Damn you!” cries the doctor, and inflates his bladder, causing him to appear several times his real size.