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Boss Monster

Boss Monster is four screens tall and its HP meter is just question marks. It’s immune to exile spells and the secondary effect of RUNESWRD, has a 20% chance to resurrect a Crystal Drone each round, and cannot believe they cancelled the Kirksville contract.

They didn’t like the accrual clause?” it flickers, a palette swap of disbelief. “They wrote the accrual clause!

DZZT,” explains the hovering Crystal Drone.

Boss Monster runs a hand through its horns. “>.<;;;. Call our accountant, okay? And use ancient technology to irrevocably alter the timeline so this never happened.

The accountant has real problems with that.


The wave of gray bodies lurches forward, eyes rolled back, broken nails outstretched. “There’s too many!” gasps Narciso, knocking five of them down with one kick. “We have to dance-fight harder!”

“Team Assemblé!” shouts Yolanda. “It’s time! Routine… Baryshnikov Omega!

His compatriots slide into place around him, then explode into a fury of flips and kicks. The black-suited ranks of the horde fall back, and there–a gap, a way out–

But standing at the end is Boss Monster, his grin wicked and bright.

“Time to face the music,” he rasps, and draws the Stop Dancing from its sheath.