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A Faithful & True Relation

Ask Andrew Cole

Dee and Kelley came to blows at last, over, naturally, the royalties for the book. “Autolycus!” hissed Dee, his voice echoing off the tiles of the natatorium.

Gestas!” bellowed Kelley, and shoved Dee’s head under the water.

They both called on Enoch to judge between them, but xie didn’t want to get involved. The angel perched up in a corner of the balneator’s office and watched the fight unfold. “Tragic, really,” xie muttered to Mister Boots.
Mister Boots kept his own council, and pretended to concentrate on grooming his tail, but his eyes missed nothing. Mister Boots was canny; he wasn’t paid enough to get involved in this kind of rumpus. Casaubon was going to be very interested, though — very interested, indeed.


On Tuesday they turn off Wall Street. The end! Badass traders like Jethro have to get Main Street jobs instead.

“Twenty bucks says I’m the fastest stockboy here,” smirks Jethro.

His new coworkers laugh, then stock. Jethro checks his Blackberry.

“Pay up!”

“One sec,” says Jethro, “I bet Enoch ten grand I’d lose that bet.”


“Just expressing my view of the market.”

“I don’t have any money,” shrugs Enoch.

“Whoops, that bet was too big!” Jethro tells their boss. “Front me eight Gs?”

The boss fires him via mouth-punch.

“Why did you do that?” cries Jethro. “That was mean!”