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“Is this broccoli certified ironic?” says Paul.

“Yep,” says the clerk.  “It’s ‘delicious.’ Says so right on the little rubber band.”

“Because it’s right next to some regular broccoli, and they look exactly the same.”

“Yeah, but the difference is, this one knows it’s broccoli.”

“Irony isn’t the same thing as–never mind,” says Paul.  “So the other broccoli was grown under sincere conditions?”

“No, but that one you’re holding was,” says the clerk.


“It’s delicious. Says so right on the rubber band.”

“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you,” says Paul.

“Dude,” says the clerk in that same monotone. “I’m hurt.”