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“It started,” says Dvorak, “about five months ago. My boss and I golf, and I typed up an email about being in a golf-addict support group. Everybody liked it. My boss put it on his door.”

He sighs. “Then someone asked me to write one for Bejeweled, it’s this little… Anyway, it was popular. Soon I was using the addiction-support-group joke for everything! Shopping, cell phones, boy band music, th-the Catholic church–”

He breaks off, sobbing. “There, now,” soothes Lori. “Does anyone have something to share with Dvorak?”

“You gots to check yourself,” says Ratch sagely. Ratch always says that.