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The Nostalgia Network has drifted from its core mission, abandoning the glorious future of segmented markets for another mishmash of reality reunions and made-for-irony monsters of the week.

Which, to be fair, is sort of what people get nostalgic for these days.

This week’s monster is a CGI capybara, currently represented by a yellow ball on a stick. Terence looked up capybaras on his phone and he’s not buying it.

“I actually sort of miss when they showed reruns,” he says to Annabeth, awaiting craft services.

“Of course you do,” she sighs. “Hindsight’s 20/20, but nostalgia’s got blinders on.”


“I’m telling you, listen, he’s useless. He’s inert,” hisses Annabeth. “You’re not going to make him into a real actor with a few lightbulbs!”

“One of the things you’ll learn about this town is it’s all appearances.” Mo grins. She’s playing cat’s cradle while her assistants scuttle like ants in a skillet. “Lighting is all. That and makeup. Okay, guys, wanna hit it?”

There’s an audible whump as the spots power up. Annabeth drops her clipboard.

Standing there lit like a beacon in the focus of their stares, Terence is pretty bored. He idly thinks about dope, and about doing it.