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Notice of Transsubstantiation

Whereas PURCHASER has defaulted on the agreement by one or more of the following means:

  • Failure to remit installment for 60 days
  • Breach of provisions 3:1-3:16 of original contract
  • Bodily assumption into Heaven

TITLE HOLDER will therefore commence to legally sieze property and convert it, by means of standard miracle (see contract article 7), into an asset matching original assessment of profitability, 30 DAYS from posting of notice. PURCHASER has the right to employ a third-party (triune) ARBITRATOR to render final judgment on contract breach, should one return in splendor.

TITLE HOLDER will not be holding TITLE HOLDER’S breath.